Numb
by UmbrellaWorks
Summary: Izaya feels bad about everything he does, but it's not like he will let Shizuo find out! Will Shizuo be able to coax it out of him when something happens to Izaya? Awful summary, but it'll be good...hopefully. Shizaya  Rating starts at T but will go up.
1. Out of Breath

_I don't remember always feeling so…numb. Not in the physical sense, but more in the psychological. I used to have friends. People who actually cared about me, wanted to be around me, wanted to make sure I stayed who I was. I know the change wasn't gradual, otherwise people wouldn't have noticed as much. It was just like something in my brain stopped connecting with the other bits, and changed my personality for the worst. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and fix what I did to all those people... No. I don't care about making it better with them…I just wish, as if it were possible, that I could make it better with one certain person. _

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"Ah! Afternoon Shizu-Chan~!" The raven haired man smiled brightly and waved his skinny arm up over his head at the blonde man who was dangerously close. Izaya Orihara snickered, knowing this was sure to elicit a pleasant response from the notoriously short tempered Shizuo Heiwajima.

The man clad in the bartender apparel had stopped dead in his shiny black shoes and was gritting the once nicely formed cigarette between his teeth. Today had been such a peaceful day, and now his most hated enemy just _had_ to show up to piss him off.

"What the hell do you want, you filthy little flea." The man spat out through clenched teeth. The raven man chuckled and made a _tsk tsk tsk_ noise as he shook his head.

"Now is that anyway to greet an old friend, Shizu-Chan? I just thought we could go grab a bite to eat then head to the movies~" A small smirk crept up on Izaya's mouth as he saw Shizuo go beet red with rage. The familiar 'IIIIZZZAAAYYYAAA-!' rang out as a shiny (and new, might I add) vending machine came dangerously close to nicking Izaya on the side of the head.

_That was close,_ the brunette thought to himself as he moved out of the way as yet another object was hurled at him, _I should be paying more attention. I don't think Shinra would be happy if I came knocking on his door with brain damage._ He chuckled some more. "Aww, come on Shizu-Chan. Can't you take a joke? Or is that bow tie to tight that the oxygen isn't getting to your brain properly and you can't think straight."

Izaya had known he'd pushed a bit far, so he spun on his heel and bounded away quickly, not bothering to look back as he knew the very angered Shizuo was chasing after him like a bull at a matador in a bullfight. He seemed madder than usual, and it wasn't extremely fun for the informant because he was dangerously close to dying this time around.

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"I finally got you, you little flea."

A deviously grinning Shizuo held Izaya up by his throat and pinned him to a wall. Izaya, and his natural will to live to piss Shizuo off another day, was desperately trying to break free of Shizuo's grip and make it to his flick blade that had been discarded just a few feet away. Shizuo, seeing his pathetic attempts, gripped tighter around the smaller man's neck, making him wince in utter pain.

"I'm going to kill you, once and for all. You are the worst menace this town has seen. Why do you even bother to come back? It's not like anyone wants to see you. Everyone. Hates. The fact. That you. Exist." Shizuo's grip got tighter after every stop in his phrasing. Izaya's eyes started to flutter as he found it harder and harder to breath.

_This is it. I'm really going to die. Heh, I suppose it wasn't too bad of a life. _Izaya tried really hard to fool himself that the blonde's words didn't strike wounds in his heart, but he knew it was pointless. It's not like he would be remembering anyways.With the last bit of strength, he looked down at the blonde with a look that said, _ Shizu-Chan…I'm sorry._

And before he could see the reaction of his enemy, darkness crept over his mind like fog on a haunted lake.


	2. The biter becomes the bitten

**Mmmm me likes this chapter. The next one is good to…and me hopes to get deliciousness into the mix soon ^^ Poor, poor Izzy shall go through so much in this story…but it shall make for a more interesting one, I suppose.**

**Anyways, meh likes to hears what you think, so go ahead, tell me what I suck at, what you like, the whole shebang. Just don't insult me. Telling me what I should work on isn't insulting, but 'u ned ta lrn how to rite bttr!' or however people use text language [I was never a normal teenager. Lol and brb are the extent] pisses me off. Thankies and enjoy!**

**P.S-Sorry about the whole random moment with Tom [and Kasuka…I don't particularly like either of these two.]…I just felt he needed to be in there somewhere, but I don't really know how to write with him, so I kicked him out just as fast as he came in.**

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"Why the fuck didn't I kill him!"

An angry Shizuo's fist met with a more than innocent street pole, leaving a nasty looking bend in it. The male was furious! He couldn't believe he let the stupid flea go! _What the fuck is wrong with me today?_

There was something in the way Izaya looked at him before he lost consciousness that actually got through to Shizuo. It was a pitiful look, like he hoped that his enemy wouldn't have it in him to strangle him, like he actually was sorry. The man in the bartender's clothes growled and punched the pole yet again. He couldn't believe it actually worked. Like hell the louse could feel sorry!

"I need a break…" He pulled out a cigarette and a silver lighter and lit the end before taking a long drag. _Maybe I should take Kasuka up on his offer…_

About two days ago, Kasuka Heiwajima had called his older brother up, offering to take him on a much needed vacation for a week. The elder sibling had declined at first, saying he would need to talk it over with Tom first. Of course he never asked Tom, mainly because he wasn't sure if he should go or not.

"I can't just blow off my job…" Shizuo blew a puff of smoke at the sky with a heavy sigh.

"Ah, don't worry about me Shizuo. I'm sure I can last a week while you relax. Just don't go all soft on me." The familiar voice piped up from behind the blonde, causing him to jump and drop his cigarette on the sidewalk.

"Damn it Tom! You wouldn't have a face if I was my regular self…" Shizuo mumbled. Tom only chuckled at his bodyguard's words. "Wait a sec, how did you know about…?" Shizuo was genuinely confused. He hadn't even bothered to bring it up to Tom, mainly because he hated asking for answers he wasn't sure how would turn out. It sort of creeped him out a little, sort of like how Izaya always knew everythi- _Damn it, Shizuo! Don't let that little insect latch onto your thoughts!_

"Your younger brother called me, saying something like 'Shizuo will most likely be a 'fraidy cat and back off.'" Tom let out a chuckle at Shizuo's angered and embarassed face. "Okay, so maybe I said that last bit, but I'm sure he was thinking something that. Anyways, I want you to take the vacation. You deserve it. When you get back, just expect some tough work." The blonde's employer clapped Shizuo on the shoulder then walked off without letting the still confused Shizuo to say another word.

"Well…might as well call Kasuka and tell him I'll go…" 

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"I'll see you soon, brother. In the mean time, try not to get into any trouble, please." Kasuka looked up at his brother with the same expression he often wore, awaiting his brother's response.

"Yeah, yeah. Get going. I don't want you late. Aren't you supposed to be a shoot soon?" The younger sibling nodded his head and checked his watch. "I should probably get going. I'll call you sometime soon." Kasuka turned and headed away from the apartment building to go catch a train.

Shizuo sighed and looked at the tightly packed buildings around him. Kasuka's idea of a vacation was touring around Hokkaido. Not exactly a diamond, but the blonde wasn't complaining. It was extremely nice to get away from the gangs of Ikebukuro…and the flea.

_Don't think about him Shizuo! Not after what happened last time!_ Shizou mentally slapped himself and actually started walking away from his apartment building. He had already dropped his bags off upstairs, and a walk was sure to clear his thoughts of anything flea-like.

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During his walk, Shizuo passed by those he hadn't talked to for the week he was gone. Tom had greeted him warmly and told him to be ready to work the next day, Simon tried to get him to buy sushi, saying 'It's good, Shizuoh~', and Kadota was with Walker and Erika like always [Let's just say Erika had her own idea of what Shizuo and Kasuka were really doing.]. Things seemed nice and calm without him and Izaya pretty much destroying half the city. _Maybe I should leave more often._

Just as Shizuo was about to pass an alley way, a large group of what looked to be gang members came rushing out with bats, knives, and a collection of objects they could do some particular damage with. They were laughing and cussing into the alley way they ran out of. The blonde had a hard time telling what they were saying, but he caught a few fragments. **"That's…deserve you….of a….aya!"**

Normally Shizuo would have just brushed this incident off. After all, this was Ikebukuro and these kinds of things happened all the time. However, this particular time something compelled the calm man to peek down the alleyway. Perhaps his Bartender Senses were telling him something was really bad. He almost winced and the amount of blood pooled around the lump of person just laying there like a rag doll. Most likely the person was dead and Shizuo almost hoped they weren't. How would it look to see Shizuo of all people hunched over a dead body? A wave of relief rushed over the blonde male when he saw the small rise and fall of the person's side.

_I should help them…_ Shizuo was feeling quite bad with just how bad this person was beaten, so he felt it was only right to help. As he stepped closer, his eyes grew wide with the sight before him. A hand full of holes had been stabbed into the familiar, fur lined coat and through to the thin body underneath. There were so many blood stains, stains almost as red as the eyes that were usually open and full of mischief. Shizuo almost couldn't believe it.

_"Izaya!"_


	3. Bloody Hell?

**Two updates in a row…ooooh. That's only because this was already written and I'm lazy and don't like publishing right away. Anywho, me like chapter. It's starting to lead to deliciousness~ So yeah…I really hate writing Shinra. I tried to make him sound whiney/kid like because that's pretty much how he is…So yeah, enjoy and remember, me likey the reviews!**

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_Sharp, stabbing pain. A blow to the head here, and blunt swing to the stomach there. I knew it was a foolish mistake. I just knew I shouldn't have provoked them, but I honestly didn't think they would get the best of me. How…utterly foolish. The last thing I remember feeling was the cold sense of feeling that slowly settled over me. Then it just sort of went…well, numb._

_I wonder how long I sat there. I must have been bleeding profoundly, although I couldn't do anything about it. I wished I would just die. Where was Shizu-Chan when I needed him? He wouldn't have let those thugs beat me up. Like hell he would let anyone besides him kill me. You see, dying by his hands would have let me had a bit of closure… How did I end up this way anyhow? Oh… That's right._

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"Hey guys… How's it hanging?" The raven man stepped up behind the average size group of greasy looking men. He had some business to attend to with them, and frankly, he was thinking he would need a very long shower after spending time around such rabble.

"Iiiizaya. It took you long enough to worm your ass over here. Did you get the information we asked for?" What looked to be the leader of the pack stepped forward and glared at the informant with cold, unintelligent eyes. Izaya rolled his eyes at just how blunt he was.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you manners? You should greet someone properly and answer their question." The raven man let out a bored sigh and held up a small black rectangle anyways. The group of men squinted their eyes to see what it was, but were forced to lose focus when Izaya snapped out, "It's a flash drive you imbeciles!" Izaya was extremely impatient today, and he _really_didn't want to deal with these cretins.

"Maybe you should learn your manners, you little ass!" The whole group seemed ticked off by the Informant's comment, but like he cared. He really didn't have time to deal with these idiots, and they _were_imbeciles.

"Look, do you have the money you owe me or not? I have a life, you know." The man narrowed his red eyes and the disgusting group, and every one of them seemed to smirk in sync. The leader started chuckling quietly, then burst out laughing hysterically. Izaya really didn't think what was about to come out of his mouth would be that funny.

"Like hell we would pay you anything! Taking that bit of information by force should be good enough. After all, there is only one of you, and about a dozen of us. And don't think about running away either." Laughs came from behind the information broker, and he knew he was in deep.

"Tch, then fine. If you won't give me what I so rightfully deserve, then I won't give you what you most certainly don't deserve." Izaya dropped the memory device on the ground, and then stomped on it with one black shoe. He watched with a bored expression as the men gaped at his action.

"W-What the hell!" The man in front started to go red with anger. "Yyyyoooooouuuuuuu little fucker!"

That little action was basically what got him beat to the bloody pulp he was now.

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_Somehow…I don't feel so heavy…I feel almost…Light. It's a better feeling, though a little rough. Almost like riding a bike on a gravel road. It's actually a little bit painful. Heh, this probably is the sign I'm on my way to hell. I know I deserve whatever is about to come. I almost can't wait to feel the ruthless, fiery…_

_Comfort…_

_Comfort? Why do I feel comfortable? Ignoring the fact that I'm sore from my wounds, I feel like I'm…_

"…in bed." The familiar voice wasn't talking to Izaya, but more to someone else. The raven man's eyes were still closed, not really wanting them to open and see whoever it was that was in with him. He would do what he always did and…observed the situation.

"Tch…thanks Shinra." A sarcastic and familiar [though Izaya couldn't put his finger on it] voice piped up. "Like hell I want him staying with me. Why can't he just stay here?"

The other voice came out in a sort of whiney tone, "I don't want him here in case he ruins any fun me and Celty havee~ Have a heart Shizuo!"

Eh? Shizuo! Why the hell was he here? Izaya sort of wished he had the energy to get up and move at the moment, but he felt the most he would be able to do is open his eyes and manage a bit of a phrase from his mouth. He felt it best to stay quiet until the brute of a man left.

"Tch, like Celty would do anything with you…Fine. Just…fine. However, if you see on the news that he's dead and the murder is still at large, don't be surprised." The blonde man growled out, and Izaya could tell through the heavy footsteps and the loud door slam that he left the room.

After a few long moments, Izaya piped up.

"Is he gone yet?" Izaya peeked one eye open to look at Shinra, whose attention immediately snapped to Izaya.

"You're awake! Wait, stay still!" The man dressed in the lab coat tried to stop Izaya when he started shifting around where he lay, "You could open up your wounds again!"

Izaya scoffed and rolled his ruby red eyes, "I was just trying to get in a more comfortable position, Shinra. Don't freak at me." He let out a tired sigh, and could feel all the soreness that covered his body.

"So, what's the verdict, doc? Will I make it?" He gave his signature smirk to the quite cross Shinra.

"You idiot. Do you even know what all happened to you?" The underground doctor just shook his head when the raven man gave a simple shrug. "It's like you don't even care…" he mumbled, "Either way, you were stabbed repeatedly, have major bruising around your chest and neck, have one or two cracked ribs, and you're suffering from a slight concussion."

Izaya rolled words around in his mouth for what to say, but couldn't really come up with more than a sigh and, "So _why_do I have to live with Shizu-Chan? I think I'll be in too much pain to go anywhere, and it's not like Namie will let me go anywhere, so can't I just stay at my place?" the informant huffed out. He was taken aback by Shinra's stuttering to find an answer.

"A-Ah w-w-well you s-s-see…a-a-ah I don't really kn-know how to p-p-put it…"

"Out with it Shrina!" Izaya was getting really impatient now.

Shinra jumped and covered his head with his arms. The words that came out of his mouth were fast and slurred together, like when you speed up a tape, only with the doctor's normal voice.

"_Abigmean gangbroke intoyourapartment andmarkedit astheirnew headquarters_. Don't hurt me." Shinra practically was hyperventilating as he peeked out from under his arms to look at the blankly staring brunette, who frankly still didn't quite understand what Shinra had just said.

"So wait. A gang broke into my house, trashed the place, and is now using it as their head quarters?" Shinra nodded, "Well just great. They probably broke my computers and everything. Well then fine. I shall stay with Shizu-Chan…I won't like it but…" Truthfully, Izaya was kind of looking forward to staying with the taller male. "Sooo…when can I leave?"

"…Just get out."


	4. Knives and Hugs

"Shizu-Chaaaaan~! I'm boreeed~" Izaya flopped the upper half of his body over the back of a beat up couch to look down at the irritated beyond all irritation of a debt collector who was laying down and flipping through the television channels without even looking at them.

"So what? What the hell do you want me to do about it?" The blonde growled, not even looking up to meet the disappointed eyes of his worst enemy.

It had only been a couple days, but Izaya was already up and moving around, much to Shizuo's dismay. Shinra had the blonde promise not to threaten Izaya in a way where he would have to run away and strain himself too much. The raven had to admit, it was nice being able to bother the debt collector in a way when he couldn't do anything but lash out verbally.

"Entertaaaiiin mee~" The red eyed man pouted down at his enemy in hopes of getting him to do _something_ with him. He really was bored without his work, and Shizuo wouldn't let him leave, saying that he didn't want anyone catching him leave his apartment. _I think he's just worried about me~_ Izaya thought with a snigger. Shizuo's mocha colored eyes snapped up to glare at the raven at the sound.

"What the hell is so funny, flea?" He snapped, ignoring the comment made before the snigger. Izaya smirked down, an action that elicited a low growl from the blonde.

"I was just thinking how much you must love me to be taking care of me~" Izaya wasn't quite finished when a large hand grabbed the front of his shirt and sent him tumbling over the back of the couch to be laying parallel on top of Shizuo, the blonde practically shaking Izaya's breath out of him.

"Can't. You. Learn. To. Shut. The. Fuck. Up! Like hell I would love you!" Shizuo lightly flung Izaya off of him and onto the ground before sitting up and glaring down at the pathetic little mass.

_Damn, damn, damn, damn-_ Izaya kept repeating this in his mind as he curled up in a ball on the cold floor, hoping to prevent his body from shuddering in pain. The stupid protozoan seemed to forget stupid little things like he just did could seriously hurt Izaya. _Not like he cares._ Soon, the bit of pain that he felt grew, and he let out a strangled gasp as a wave of pain flooded through his chest and caused his whole body to rock with the aftershock.

"Hey…Izaya?" The voice sounded a bit…concerned, but was obviously trying to cover up that emotion, "You alright?" a sigh, "Look, I'm sorry, but seriously, get up…"

"I'm not…fucking..k..kidding, yo…you proto…proto…_fuck.._" Izaya hissed through his teeth. _Damn it! He makes it really hard to try and not hate him! _Another wave of pain shot through as arms coiled around his frame and lifted him up.

"What the f-ow!" The raven winced as Shizuo calmly carried him to the bedroom. "Fuck…y-y-you! Put me do-down!" Izaya shuddered once more and fisted the man's shirt in his hands and clung on like he could be dropped at any moment…in which he was, but softly and onto the bed, not the hard floor.

"…Sorry." Shizuo was sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees. His mocha eyes were training themselves other than the fragile body lying down near himself.

"Like hell you are." The raven's voice came out strained, but he tried to force as much spite into the words as he could at the given moment. All it did was send him coughing and getting Shizuo to glare at him.

"Yes, I am. Unlike you I can actually apologize, you fucking louse." He snapped, but his voice soften down again, "Look, if you don't want me to hurt you anymore than you already are, then you need to stop provoking me so much."

"Who said I provoked you?" The mocha eyed man just rolled his eyes and then waited for the smaller male to say something more. "You know what…fine. Just until I leave…Just know that after that, I'll go straight back to bugging the hell out of you."

Shizuo stared blankly down at the scowling informant, whom of which was looking away, quite furious that he even agreed to something so trivial. "You're saying…you'll honestly leave me alone?"

"Isn't that what I just said!" Izaya snapped, "What are you, deaf or something? I, Izaya Orihara, hereby promise that while I am in your care, I shall not harass and or provoke you. Better?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly at the blonde, who for a moment sat with a slightly surprised face, then half smiled at his temporary roommate.

"Heh, much. Oh, and as for your boredom problem, try sleeping. Maybe you'll feel better later." Shizuo ruffled the other's hair lightly then exited the room, closing the door with a _click._ Izaya groaned and leaned back into the pillows, cursing himself at what he had just done.

"Fuck…There goes my entertainment for the while…"

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><p>"<em>Hehehe, hey Izaya, guess what? You're going to die. Now. Right here." A figure that looked way to much like Shizuo hovered over a cowering Izaya and smiled widely, a creepy smile that reminded Izaya of a creepy doll with blue hair and a butcher knife from some vampire manga. The only difference was the hair. Yes, this figure had a menacing knife poised right over Izaya's raven colored head, and the blade glinted in an evil manner. <em>

_Izaya tried as best as he could to get away from the Shizuo look-a-like, but it's like he was a magnet and the figure kept getting closer and closer. "This is what you deserve, isn't it? After all you've done, what I'm going to do to you doesn't seem so bad, now does it?" The man laughed psychotically and raised the knife high in the air, ready to plunge it into Izaya's skull. _

"_L-l-leave me al-a-alone." He finally managed to stammer, and this only made the psychotic figure green even more evilly. _

"_What was that, I didn't hear you? Leave you alone to die from bleeding out you say? If you insist~"_

"_Leave me alone!_" Izaya practically yelled as he sat straight up in bed, a movement which caused him to wince in pain. His breathing was labored, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest only made it hurt worse, not to mention the pounding of his heart against his rib cage.

"Sheesh, and all I do is come in to ask you if you want to eat." Shizuo sighed and looked down on the sweat covered informant. "Hey, you okay?" When Izaya flinched at the sound of his voice, he was a bit curious as to what happened. "Look, I still hate you, but it's almost pathetic to see you in this state." He sat down on the edge of the bed and awaited the raven's answer.

When Izaya didn't answer him, he just sighed and stood up and started walking away when he felt a slight tug on the hem of his shirt. The blonde haired man looked over at his shoulders to see a shaking Izaya grabbing on to his shirt, his head up against his knees.

"S-s-s-s-sorry." The raven choked out before releasing Shizuo's shirt and wrapping his arms around his knees tightly, burying his face even more. _I fear that if I look at Shizuo, I might really start crying. Like hell I'll let anyone, especially Shizuo, see me cry. _However, it took a lot of effort not to let the salty drops fall from his eyes when he felt Shizuo's warm hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down Izaya. It was just a dream…Let me guess, all your beloved humans either died or ganged up on you and killed you, am I right?" Shizuo said jokingly as he sat back down, trying to at least get the smaller male to look at him.

"Th-The second g-guess is half r-r-r-right." The informant let out in a tearless sob. He leaned into the warmer, much larger Shizuo and clung onto the man's sleeve, refusing to look up at the face that was smiling murderously at him only minutes ago.

A dumbstruck debt collector looked down on his roommate, trying to take in what he was seeing. After a moment, he determined Izaya wouldn't stop shaking himself, so he would have to lend a hand…or arm. His long appendage wrapped around Izaya's shaking frame and gave him a gentle squeeze before pulling them both into a laying position.

"W-w-w-what are you d-d-doing Shizu-ch-chan?" The informant gasped out when two arms were now surrounding him protectively, drawing him into their host's chest.

"Comforting you, so you can either complain away, or accept it." Shizuo mumbled into the top of the raven haired man's head, blushing feverously.

Another blushing man just buried his head against Shizuo's chest, not bothering to hold back any tears that stung his eyes. "T-T-Thanks…but if you tell an-any one you saw me like this…I-I-I will kill you."

"Yeah, yeah. Hate you too." Shizuo chuckled, finding Izaya's meek attempt at a threat just a smidge cute with all the stuttering. Like hell he would admit that he found Izaya cute though…hell, he would rather kill himself than do that.

Soon, the two drifted off to sleep, stuck to each other like magnets, and the last thing to run through their heads was, _Fuck, this will be awkward in the morning._

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><p><strong>Fluff~~ Okay, so you are probably wondering why the hell I update so quickly…if not, I'll still explain. It's summer, I'm bored, the first 3 chapters I had already written and were on deviantart, just not on here, sooo yeah. Anywho, reviews accepted, and sorry for any OOCness. It's hard to keep characters acting their normal selves and having them do what you want them too. Oh, and if you are wondering about the whole blue headed doll with a knife, it's Boogey-Kun from Chibi Vampire [or KarinVampire Karin] Hehe ^^ He was meh favorite, and his body when he comes out of the doll is..scary.**


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